


Stay Blind So We Don't Know

by ObsidianRomance



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Bottom Jensen, Doctor Jared, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Jensen Ackles, M/M, Mpreg, Psychological Trauma, mpreg Jensen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2013-10-27
Packaged: 2017-12-30 15:50:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1020530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidianRomance/pseuds/ObsidianRomance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen is the son of a rather prominent family.  When he ends up in a mental institution saying he's done the impossible, that he had a baby, Dr. Jared Padalecki is left to figure out if Jensen really is insane or if his family is just trying to keep the truth under wraps.  The only problem is, the deeper Jared digs, the more involved in Jensen's life he gets.  Jared and Jensen land themselves on top of a ticking time bomb of a situation and Jensen has to figure out of he can trust Jared enough to get them out of this.  But first, Jared has to figure out what version of the truth he believes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay Blind So We Don't Know

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a rather long story. I was saving it for a big bang but I think it is going to spiral out of control. So...I am posting it chapter by chapter. I have a lot of it written but as my RL is unpredictable as of late, I figured I would start posting.  
> Also - Surprise! More mpreg!Jensen from me. That was not supposed to happen. But seriously, everything else I am posting for a while is mpreg!Sam or mpreg!Jared (which is actually my favorite). But this is a whole different mpreg!Jensen. I don't think you've seen this version of him from me before.  
> Additional Warnings - brief mention of OMC/Jensen, bastardization of psychiatric care and male anatomy  
> Note: This is the prologue. The rest of the story is 5 years later.

_ 2005 _

Something was very wrong.  Despite everything being hazy and so translucent that he couldn’t get a firm grasp on them, Jensen felt weighted down.

Every second aided in helping his eyes blink open, starting an unsteady process of focusing his eyes; it kicked his brain into a slow process of deduction.

He was cold.

Even without tangible proof as to why, he felt exposed and ripped open.  The fear made his flight or fight instinct attempt both options at once and he immediately jerked his head to the side and tried to propel himself forward.  The resistance he faced was immediate.  There were things holding him down, pulling him back into the fear and darkness his brain was struggling to find a way out of.

“Easy, Jensen.”

The voice came as a whisper in his ear, holding a sense of detachment and false concern, like the speaker’s tongue had gotten too accustomed to saying such things.

Vision clearing enough, Jensen took in his surroundings while fighting against the restraints.  There were straps binding his limbs down – he could see that now.  The darkness of his mind was in stark contrast to the bright sterility of the white room.  Things looked too impersonal, too institutional, too cold.  He let out a frustrated scream and fought against the straps with tightened muscles and veins straining under the attempt.

“Easy, Jensen,” the voice came again, only closer.

Jensen’s eyes located its source.  It was a woman, just as cold and institutional looking as the room.  Her manner of dress matched everything about the room and her voice.  She was in stiff white nurse gear and had her hair pulled back in a tight bun, accenting the severity of her demeanor.

“Who the fuck are you?”  Jensen spat, deliberately disobeying her orders.  With another scream, he thrashed his body so forcefully that the bed holding him shifted.  Everything hurt, hurt for reasons he knew he could remember if he thought hard enough.

“I’m here to help you, but I can’t do that if you don’t listen to me.”  The nurse crossed her arms over her chest and waited for Jensen’s behavior to calm.

“Who the _fuck_ are you?”  Jensen’s eyes went wild.  “Where the _fuck_ am I?”  He was swimming through memories, trying to connect enough dots to figure out what was going on and why.

“You’re safe.  That’s all that matters.  We’re going to help you.”

Growling in frustration, Jensen kept fighting.  It was useless, he knew that, but he couldn’t stop himself.  “Let me go!  Get these fucking things off of me.”  His glare shot daggers at the nurse and he screamed loud enough to shake the room.  “Let me go!”

“You need to calm down…you need…” The nurse tried to put her hands on him but he gnashed his teeth at her.  Sighing, she turned and picked up a needle that had been waiting at the bedside.  “If you’re not going to listen to me, we have ways of making you listen.”  She jabbed him with the needle, prepared for the surprised jolt Jensen gave.  “This is for your own good, Jensen.  When you calm down enough, then we can have a little talk.”

“What the hell did you just give me?  What the…”  Jensen’s world shifted out of focus, the images blurring together before darkening.  “What…what…why?”  He felt the edge of consciousness slip and skid out from underneath him.  The world went dark.

************

In the darkness, Jensen’s mind reeled back time.  He saw _things_.  None of them made sense, but he saw them none the less. 

There were imaged and sounds that shouldn’t go together.  His parents’ faces drifted in and out of focus; his father so disapproving, his mother scared to do anything but follow in her husband’s thoughts.

Other things took his parents’ places.  Keith slid into focus – the Keith he knew years ago, the Keith he fell in love with and lost his virginity to.  It almost felt safe but the he watched Keith shift through five years of change and endless looks of frustration and ambivalence.  He yelled and shoved at Jensen’s subconscious.

It all broke way to blood staining the whiteness of porcelain, to eyes staring at him in disgust and panic.

On the sound of a shrill, new wailing sound, Jensen broke through the drug’s effects and landed himself among the living once again.

Unlike his earlier waking, he stumbled into consciousness and snagged himself on every hang up along the way.  He couldn’t breathe and his mind was awake before he could get his eyes open.

This time, he woke on a scream.  His arms were already pulling at the restraints in such a way that he could tell his wrists and ankles were already rubbed raw.

Turning his head, he saw more people, men and women staring at him like he was on display. 

Voice harsh from more screams than Jensen remembered making, Jensen pleaded.  “Let me go.”

A man turned his head and approached Jensen.  “We can’t do that Jensen.  We’re here to help you.”  He took another step closer.  “We…do you know why you’re here?”

No part of Jensen’s brain had any recollection as to how to answer that question.  “I…no…I…”  His voice quivered in time with the pounding of his heart.  “Let me go.”

Steamrolling part the request, the man wasn’t swayed.  “You’re at MaryHaven.  Your parents are worried about you.  They brought you here so we could treat you.  So we could make you better.”

 _Better?_   He was in an institution for a psychologically insane? Jensen wasn’t sick.  He was…confused.  If he could get a minute to himself, if someone would remove the _damn_ straps from around his limbs, then he could think.  Then he could remember.  Then the wailing from his memories would make sense.  “There’s nothing wrong with me!”

“Of course there isn’t,” a nurse replied.  Only, her voice wasn’t reassuring.  It was condescending and cold, just like everything else.

Screaming, Jensen fought against both the restraints.  He tried pleading his case again but it fell on deaf ears.  “Why won’t anyone listen to me!?”

Several of the people in the room exchanged a pitiful glance. 

“Listen to me!”  Voice trembling and his eyes filling with tears, hot rivulets trailed down Jensen’s cheeks.  Feeling so exposed and trapped at the same time was making the adrenaline coursing through his body leave him at the point where he felt like he might explode.

“You’re parents…they’re worried Jensen.  You’ve said…you’ve done some things that worried them…they want to make sure you were safe.”

Jensen’s brain overrode the last word the man said to him.  “Safe” was exactly what he didn’t feel like.  He screamed and screamed and _screamed_ until he felt a needle piece his skin, sinking him deeper into darkness.

************

_The drug induced dreamscape made the wailing louder._

_It made no sense._

_It made…_

_It…_

_Jensen stumbled into his parents’ house.  Keith had practically kicked his head in and he didn’t know how he had gotten there, but he did.  He knew he had to.  He had to make them believe him._

_He finally had the ultimate proof._

_He told them.  He fell to his knees in pain and screamed, yet they still didn’t believe him._

_They locked him in a room.  They told him it was for his own good.  They told him he shouldn’t be such a disgrace to the family._

_They left him there.  They ignored his screams._

_He was alone._

_He was alone and petrified.  Everything hurt so bad that he wished he was dead and far away from the surreal turn his life had taken._

_Nothing that his body was doing was possible.  Jensen wasn’t insane.  He knew that._

_He also knew that he was, apparently, doing the impossible._

_There were hours of pain and panting and dragging himself into the adjoining bathroom.  He pulled himself into the bathtub and tried to drown everything in the warm water._

_The rest was a blur of pain.  He struggled, strained, pushed and in the end he screamed so loud that his father broke down the bathroom door and found him._

_They found him in a pool of bloody water, feeling more dead than alive, with a squalling newborn boy on his chest._

_His mother fell to the ground._

_His father stood frozen.  He reached out for the infant and fought to pry Jensen’s hands off the baby.  In the end, his father won, despite how much Jensen kicked and screamed and tried to find enough power to hold on._

_He could do little more than lay there, but it was enough.  He had proof.  They couldn’t ignore that._

_Jensen had no idea why he was so surprised when that’s exactly what they did._

**************

The first words out of Jensen’s mouth when he conquered the drug’s narcotic effects were, “I had a baby.”

No one listened to him.

He screamed louder, “I had a baby!”

A nurse, new to him, looked down in genuine pity.  “No you didn’t, sweetheart.  That’s why you’re here…you…you didn’t.”

“I did!  I did!”  Heart hammering so quickly, Jensen’s chest had to fight to keep it from breaking out.  “I did…my parents…my father, he-he-he took him.  He – ” Pausing to swallow and force his words to make sense, Jensen looked up at the woman, looking more like a lamb than anything.  “They took him.  They didn’t want me to have him…to tell people…”  There was a tremor running through him and Jensen couldn’t stop himself from giving a constant tug at his restrains.  “Where is he?  I…I had a baby.”

“That’s not possible.  Jensen, you know that isn’t possible.  You’re a man, and you know that can’t happen.”  She gave a sad smile.  “See…that’s why everyone is so worried about you.”

“They’re NOT worried about me.  They….they’ve never worried about me.”  Squeezing his eyes shut, Jensen slammed his head back and let out a frustrated cry.  “They…”  All the breath was forced out of him as he cried, the sound broken and capable of piercing through everyone’s hearts.  “ _I had a baby_! A boy…”  He was cognizant enough to know that the woman looking down on him didn’t believe a word he was saying.  Aggravation made him scream as he fought the restrains so hard that he felt a hot stream of liquid roll of his wrist.

“There is no baby, sweetheart.”

Jensen had no power to argue.  His system – his anger – flat lined when she pricked him with a sedative.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading lovelies! I hope you liked it. Let me know what you think. *hugs and kisses*


End file.
